H ey Everyone,
This past week flew by for me.
I guess that’s normal when you actually go into work everyday, plus work on a Master’s program on the side. 🙂 Given I have spent the past three years with very irregular “work” hours, I am still getting used to this.
In the meantime, I have found a few voices this week that I believe are more than worth sharing.
They touched me and I hope they do you as well.
| From a Blog |
And maybe this is the reason Millenials are leaving the church. Every path we’ve tried to take to get to God has been nothing more than a momentary thrill and then a steep unexpected fall. The prayer doesn’t feel the same when we feel anxious or sad. The books feel foreign when we need the answer now. The isolation sets in and we end up just collapsing in it, waiting and waiting and waiting for some formula of our youth to be complete and for us to feel held again. When we don’t, we think we’ve lost Him. ~ Ben Moberg
This week has been one for the books, as far as writers not holding back. Ben has a gift. A truly remarkable gift for putting words on to a page that work like a magnifying glass on my heart. When he describes how many “Millenials” feel, and how they struggle — he is describing me. Taking this journey of faith into a path of doubt and scrutiny and unflinching honesty has been gut wrenching on more than one occasion. It often continues to be as my emotions continue to confuse me on what really is true underneath it all and what I really believe. It is people like Ben that I have found to be a few steps ahead providing a life-line of hope that there is a way forward despite how murky it often seems.
I closed the Bible. I set it on the little table next to my chair, and crumpled inside.
I decided then and there that I had to stop. No: I had to face that reading the Word was shredding my heart.
But why? Why was the Bible shredding me?
Other people read it and were just fine. They were encouraged, and uplifted, and strengthened.
What was wrong with me? ~ Heather Caliri
If you are beginning to sense a theme, trust me I have been hit with it over and over all week. Sometimes I need that though. I need to be told again and again by trusted voices and new ones that I am not alone in this journey of life and faith. I need to be reminded that I am not the only one who has days where I doubt even the book I have cherished my whole life and learned more about than any other. A book that I used to read hourly and daily. A book that I wept over for joy and a book that I have held sobbing feeling like I have lost a part of my soul and wishing I could find my way back. A book that has come alive on many occasions, but now has also screamed at me silently on many as well. A book that has healed my soul with love and compassion. A book that has also shredded my heart with passages that are no longer easily glossed over or explained away.
The courageous choice also does not mean abandoning accountability – it simply means holding ourselves accountable first. If we are people of faith, we hold ourselves accountable for living that faith by practicing grace and bringing healing. If we consider ourselves to be smart and curious, it means seeking greater understanding. If we consider ourselves to be loving, it means acting with compassion. ~ Brene Brown
Brene always speaks to my soul. I am trying to learn this life of courage and vulnerability. Her work inspired my first steps down this road and continues to speak to me, reminding me of why I began it.
I’m tired of walking through the world constantly aware of how my blackness is being perceived, how my interracial marriage is being perceived. The fact is, whether it is being perceived positively or negatively, if I’m in the United States, I am always aware of it, and I’m tired. ~ Karen Walrond
Karen is a new voice I found this week, thanks to Brene. Of all the “ism’s “I have dealt personally with in my life, it would more be sexism. If anything else, I was unknowingly taught to perpetuate silent and subtle messages of racism myself given the mindsets and behavior I grew up around, or at the very least the racial skepticism that Karen mentions. Ever since I have become aware of how ignorant I was to how ingrained those mindsets were, I have purposed to learn anew. I want to learn. I want diversity of life and experience to surround me. I want to find beauty and the image of God in others I so easily miss when I am only looking for it in people that look like me, act like me, think like me, or make me feel comfortable. I grew up with overloads of homogeneity, and with that an ingrained sense of fear for anything or anyone different. It served me well until I and my family chose to be different and make a different choice — suddenly we were all on the outside looking in. I have learned the long and hard way that life is too short to always be that afraid and that closed off, and by doing so we miss out on so much more. There are more than one pair of glasses in this world, and it is amazing what you will see when you just put a different pair on. So when someone’s voice can do that for me, be a new lens — be my eyes — and let me see their world… I am changed. And slowly, but surely I am learning that change is good.
Anyways, what about you?
What is happening on your blog this week?
Any links you want to share or voices you want to honor? I would love to hear them.
Thank you readers for being patient with me as I get back in the saddle. I know my consistency with writing took quite a break over the moving process and now has slowed significantly with my new work schedule, but I am trying to learn how to give myself grace in this process versus hold myself up to some blogging standard of perfection. I didn’t get into writing for the blog site hits or to have the perfect blogging record, so sometimes it helps just to admit it.
Thank you to anyone who took time to share with me this week.
Hope to hear from you.